Yep Boot Camp…
It has been my life saviour beyond measure to kick my arse in the right direction. Not to mention as well, that literally my arse is being kicked into shape and is starting to look like a mighty fine arse!!!
I am on week 7 of 10 and loving it. It’s not easy, however the results keep you going back for more punishment. I signed up because I am 12kg over my weight range, miserable, low self-esteem, lacking confidence and completely lost my direction in life. Let’s just say I have been this way and declining since January 2014, but if I was truly honest I would say it would go back to July 2013 when the decline really started. Heart shattering break ups can sometimes do that to you and then you start making some dumb decisions you think are brilliant at the time! Not all decisions were dumb, I just went about them the wrong way. Anyhow…
It took me a long time to get back on the exercise wagon, I tried many times but the motivation and stickability just wasn’t there. I couldn’t get my head in the game so to speak and therefore always chose the couch option after work. I wouldn’t make it a priority in my life and although I would tell myself everyday that I would exercise, the evening would soon roll around and it was the only thing on my list I had not completed. I made sure everything else came first in order to avoid it. I asked myself,
‘how come I can get shit done everywhere else in my daily life, but I can’t with my health?’
So when I joined boot camp, a 10 week programme with the slogan ‘strong is the new sexy’, I knew I was in for it, it was time to get shit done in this area of my life. I flipping love it and for a whole pile of reasons. You pay for the whole 10 weeks in advance and you have set days/times a week to turn up, you are set weekly challenges to overcome and you work sometimes in teams, so it’s all about you taking ownership for you and sometimes your partner. If you don’t meet challenges, you are punished, plain and simple. Being the honest person I am, I own up to sometimes forgoing challenges and will honestly say I will never find the love for burpees…they make me sick! Haha.
So to be true to yourself, take ownership for your losses and then smash your own goals are some super life lessons not only for boot camp, but for everything you apply in life.
I joined to lose weight and now that is not the priority, that for me would be the final icing on the cake. The priority now is being strong and feeling sexy again. Feeling confident, self-assured and wanting to be a part of this world again.
There’s been two gauges for me in this boot camp:
- How many press-ups I can achieve week to week.
- How many wolf whistles I receive daily. 🙂
Just to clarify these both; I started at 0 press-ups on week 1. I’m talking strong man press-ups and down to 3 inches off the ground. I could get down, but I couldn’t get back up. My back was too weak. It’s now the end of week 7 and I can now do 10 in a row, and about 16 in a minute time frame. I’m pretty damn happy about this, in fact I’m over the moon, I can’t believe how far I have come in 7 weeks.
Wolf whistles…now don’t get me wrong, they make me puke as much as a warm fish smoothie would….but when you’ve had no self-esteem for over 2 years and carrying around 12 extra kgs, I don’t mind hearing the odd wolf whistle when I walk to work. They don’t get acknowledgement, it’s just a nice to be a part of this world again (to clarify some more, I work in the city where 20,000 construction workers are building a new CBD for us, it’s unavoidable….ahhhhh….they weren’t happening 7 weeks ago). Again I state, it’s not the weight loss, I am sure it’s the confidence, I’m walking taller, I’m smiling more and I want to get dressed up more feminine again.
The sexy is making a come-back..
So, I’m up to 3 wolf whistles a day. Haha.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the lessons this boot camp has been handing out, you know, it just keeps on giving and giving….value for money! Mostly as you may have picked up, my mental clarity has changed dramatically. My confidence, self-esteem has grown. I don’t feel so lost in life and can see a path for me ahead that I have always dreamed about.
Then there’s my writing, I feel like this is the first time I have written properly in 2.5 years. If you look back on my history my last proper blog was sometime in 2013. It wasn’t, earlier this year, I reviewed the stuff I had written and was embarrassed by my frame of mind and given that I had no confidence, I deleted the lot. I knew I would regret it but I regret it because now I wanted to take ownership of my journey and to be transperant to my audience. It is what it is and it’s what you do when you are in a dark place for so long, you make rash decisions. I don’t want to look back now, I only want to look forward, the past is the past and I want to be a part of today, not yesterday.
The lessons that I am learning in boot camp, I want to apply here. I have had so many writing blocks, so many unfinished drafts. I haven’t been able to write on here at all, but I have been able to write in my journal by hand, for that I am grateful. It’s a pleasure to spend an hour transferring my thoughts onto my page and to share my journey with you. I have many ideas and I want to see them come to fruition next year. My spirit is now willing me on and I feel I am now in the flow.
I do have another hurdle that I have recognised from these lessons. I have slipped into this type of person that needs to be told what to do. I’ve been an employee too long! Haha. Boot camp, I am told what to do, that suits me, but writing? Who is giving me motivation and making me stand accountable for delivering something to the table? That is my next hurdle and it may call for an accountability partner, let me think on that one a bit…and as for being an employee, I no longer want to be one, I’m working on that too. I step at a time huh.
So far though, I have committed to this small list of key writing companions:
honesty, authenticity, vulnerability and to write with passion and love.
To get to the bottom of my blog and know I am going to put this online is such a big step for me and for once in a long time, it’s in the right direction.