Living the Dream – Take 2

Three months ago I declared I would go travelling in search for my new forever home, then not a post since…

Did I bail out of this adventure you wonder? I’m pleased to inform, NO I DIDN’T!!!!!

I am actually one month into my adventure and currently in Cumbria, UK. I’m watching out the window in awe this week, at the stunning scenery in a quintessential English village north of Cumbria. Spring is having its usual fight with winter to release its hold and allow summer to step into the light. This week winter is winning….every time I go to step out the door to take the dog for a walk, it’s suddenly snowing or hailing heavily. With my usual gut feeling telling me to sort out some writing so that if anyone actually reads it knows I exist, or at the very least being productive with my time until the sun fights through the snow flurries and I can consider risking an outing.

January I declared my adventure plans and wanting to find my forever home, I spent a lot of time getting my shit together, whilst maintaining my usual routines. To say things have been a bit crazy is an understatement.. Work wise I was slammed in February by a very busy teaching schedule, life as a teacher huh! This is what took me away from writing and that’s okay. I also committed myself at the beginning of the year to better nutrition and to clean eat as much as I could. I have enjoyed changing my nutritional lifestyle and in combination with bootcamp I have so far lost 4kg and gained an almighty amount of muscle. I am not only proud of myself, but also my happiness levels have gone through the roof and the year although busy, is amazing and what I felt was the perfect time to travel.

Come 27 March, goodbyes and nights out with friends now in my memory bank, I spent a long weekend with my closest family members in Auckland eating beautiful food and watching them shop up a storm in some fabulous shops we do not have in Christchurch. A wonderful weekend shared before we said our farewells and I left for London, to start my forever home adventure, wherever that may be..

With a six month plan to travel and housesit my way around UK & Europe in my mind, I was filled with the usual anxiety before leaving, constantly asking myself ‘WHAT THE F*@K AM I DOING’? But since I have been here I have been embracing it 100% and weirdly this time I feel more settled and less panicked about being here. The first week or two I had to remind myself to ‘chill out, I’m on an adventure’, especially when the fleeting thoughts of no income raced through my conscious mind. 16 years of working and receiving a constant income to raise myself and child ingrained into every portion of my mentality, is now being tested to trust in the process of this adventure and the six months ahead of me.

Now it’s unreal, even surreal to be away and fulfilling my dream. I had some challenges before I left and I’ve had a couple here already, I was going to have a rant about them, but you know they’re about people – friends, family, lovers etc, and you know what, this is my adventure and not theirs… The growth that I have experienced in the past year has been bloody tough but tremendously rewarding. I have watched peoples behaviours and my reactions to their behaviours and sometimes liked or not liked either, but I have matured through this and learnt to let some shit go. I have seriously learnt to let some shit go! I’ve learnt that some people in your life are awesome and some are shit. You decide if you want to let the shit ones go, that’s your decision. I know that these days I ain’t got time for that type of bullshit in my life. I choose to surround myself with supportive people who empower me, and I in return offer the same type of friendship.

Keep walking your dream and living the way you want to. No one else creates your own story but you, so surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and support you, because that will raise your vibration to be a wonderful person not only to yourself, but to those who back you.

The adventure is real and I can’t believe it’s only been a month, it honestly feels like I have been here for longer (in a good way).

In the next post I am going to tell you how I came up with the idea of housesitting my way around the country and what I’ve been doing here over the month of April, not forgetting to mention what I’ve booked for May!

Big love x

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Kicking Arse

Boot Camp…

Yep Boot Camp…

It has been my life saviour beyond measure to kick my arse in the right direction. Not to mention as well, that literally my arse is being kicked into shape and is starting to look like a mighty fine arse!!!

I am on week 7 of 10 and loving it. It’s not easy, however the results keep you going back for more punishment. I signed up because I am 12kg over my weight range, miserable, low self-esteem, lacking confidence and completely lost my direction in life. Let’s just say I have been this way and declining since January 2014, but if I was truly honest I would say it would go back to July 2013 when the decline really started. Heart shattering break ups can sometimes do that to you and then you start making some dumb decisions you think are brilliant at the time! Not all decisions were dumb, I just went about them the wrong way. Anyhow…

It took me a long time to get back on the exercise wagon, I tried many times but the motivation and stickability just wasn’t there. I couldn’t get my head in the game so to speak and therefore always chose the couch option after work. I wouldn’t make it a priority in my life and although I would tell myself everyday that I would exercise, the evening would soon roll around and it was the only thing on my list I had not completed. I made sure everything else came first in order to avoid it. I asked myself,

‘how come I can get shit done everywhere else in my daily life, but I can’t with my health?’

So when I joined boot camp, a 10 week programme with the slogan ‘strong is the new sexy’, I knew I was in for it, it was time to get shit done in this area of my life. I flipping love it and for a whole pile of reasons. You pay for the whole 10 weeks in advance and you have set days/times a week to turn up, you are set weekly challenges to overcome and you work sometimes in teams, so it’s all about you taking ownership for you and sometimes your partner. If you don’t meet challenges, you are punished, plain and simple. Being the honest person I am, I own up to sometimes forgoing challenges and will honestly say I will never find the love for burpees…they make me sick! Haha.

So to be true to yourself, take ownership for your losses and then smash your own goals  are some super life lessons not only for boot camp, but for everything you apply in life.

I joined to lose weight and now that is not the priority, that for me would be the final icing on the cake. The priority now is being strong and feeling sexy again. Feeling confident, self-assured and wanting to be a part of this world again.

There’s been two gauges for me in this boot camp:

  • How many press-ups I can achieve week to week.
  • How many wolf whistles I receive daily. 🙂

Just to clarify these both; I started at 0 press-ups on week 1. I’m talking strong man press-ups and down to 3 inches off the ground. I could get down, but I couldn’t get back up. My back was too weak. It’s now the end of week 7 and I can now do 10 in a row, and about 16 in a minute time frame. I’m pretty damn happy about this, in fact I’m over the moon, I can’t believe how far I have come in 7 weeks.

Wolf whistles…now don’t get me wrong, they make me puke as much as a warm fish smoothie would….but when you’ve had no self-esteem for over 2 years and carrying around 12 extra kgs, I don’t mind hearing the odd wolf whistle when I walk to work. They don’t get acknowledgement, it’s just a nice to be a part of this world again (to clarify some more, I work in the city where 20,000 construction workers are building a new CBD for us, it’s unavoidable….ahhhhh….they weren’t happening 7 weeks ago). Again I state, it’s not the weight loss, I am sure it’s the confidence, I’m walking taller, I’m smiling more and I want to get dressed up more feminine again.

The sexy is making a come-back..

So, I’m up to 3 wolf whistles a day. Haha.

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the lessons this boot camp has been handing out, you know, it just keeps on giving and giving….value for money! Mostly as you may have picked up, my mental clarity has changed dramatically. My confidence, self-esteem has grown. I don’t feel so lost in life and can see a path for me ahead that I have always dreamed about.

Then there’s my writing, I feel like this is the first time I have written properly in 2.5 years. If you look back on my history my last proper blog was sometime in 2013. It wasn’t, earlier this year, I reviewed the stuff I had written and was embarrassed by my frame of mind and given that I had no confidence, I deleted the lot. I knew I would regret it but I regret it because now I wanted to take ownership of my journey and to be transperant to my audience. It is what it is and it’s what you do when you are in a dark place for so long, you make rash decisions. I don’t want to look back now, I only want to look forward, the past is the past and I want to be a part of today, not yesterday.

The lessons that I am learning in boot camp, I want to apply here. I have had so many writing blocks, so many unfinished drafts. I haven’t been able to write on here at all, but I have been able to write in my journal by hand, for that I am grateful. It’s a pleasure to spend an hour transferring my thoughts onto my page and to share my journey with you. I have many ideas and I want to see them come to fruition next year. My spirit is now willing me on and I feel I am now in the flow.

I do have another hurdle that I have recognised from these lessons. I have slipped into this type of person that needs to be told what to do. I’ve been an employee too long! Haha. Boot camp, I am told what to do, that suits me, but writing? Who is giving me motivation and making me stand accountable for delivering something to the table? That is my next hurdle and it may call for an accountability partner, let me think on that one a bit…and as for being an employee, I no longer want to be one, I’m working on that too. I step at a time huh.

So far though, I have committed to this small list of key writing companions:

honesty, authenticity, vulnerability and to write with passion and love.

To get to the bottom of my blog and know I am going to put this online is such a big step for me and for once in a long time, it’s in the right direction.